Running verbal diarrhea on the Rocks-Fathers game

After my last post, I figured I would throw my hat into the running diary of the game circle, so away we go.

Helton just smashed one...looking like its gonna be a shootout in Coors. 5-4 Padres.

Peavy has given up 11 dingers all year...already given up 2 tonight. After last years playoff debacle, Peavy is not looking like a big game pitcher.

Does a bad start in game 163 hurt his Cy Young chances? Not a shot.

Oscar-Winner Jamie Foxx is announcing the rosters on MNF...great work in Collateral.

The Fathers are arguably the ugliest team in professional sports...Geoff Blum and Kevin Kouzmanoff are hideous.

Good Holiday Inn commercial. Take it on the run babay.

Josh Fogg is looking solid. I mean, besides that 5 run inning. He just picked up his 4th K. He's looking like a fat Brian Lawrence. With stuff that is. 5 Ks.

The Patriots have the most white starting football players in all of football (i'm including Wes Welker). Bring back the white athlete!

TBS announcers sound like they just woke up. Don Orsillo and Joe Simpson? Come on guys, its playoff baseball...get excited.

Brad Hawpe just Mapquested an Adrian Gonzalez double. And that is the end of the night for Josh Fogg. I love when managers have quick triggers heading towards the post-season. Guess Clint Hurdle doesn't agree with my opinion that Fogg looks solid. Must not be a reader.

A Bengals fan has two foam fingers that say "Who" on one and "Dey" on the other...classy.

Ron Jaworski just said Kenny Watson is a better fit then Rudi Johnson against the Pats...keep it real Jaws.

Former Phil Taylor Buchholz takes the mound. Good to see Phils Phaces in the playoff chase. Thanks for getting us Wags, too, Taylor. He gets Baha'i Faith follower Kahlil Greene to fly out. Solid work by Buchholz, he gets a K to end the inning and throws in a nice fist pump.

False start by the Pats...Mike Tirico: "It's very loud in here." Insight, depth, analysis, truth.

Allen Iverson is at the Rockies game! Now I'm rooting hard for the Rockies, simply to see which (former) Philadelphia athlete that beats their wife is better loved by the Cit fans, Iverson or Myers.

Mediocre MVP chant for Matt Holliday by the Coors crowd, sounds like their being prompted. He nails a single for an RBI. Gonna be close between him and Jimmy, but I'm gonna pull a Kulish and say its Rollins. 5-5 with Holliday in scoring position. Peavy works out of the jam.

Buchholz is pitching with some heart here, nice glove slap after getting Peavy to pop out on a sac bunt attempt. Well, he gets yanked too. Hurdle must be reading this blog and thinking about how much he hates me. Ex-Royal great Jeremy Affeldt enters the game. Anyone else remember when he was considered a future ace for K.C.? Now he's a situational lefty for the Rocks. Thats why one team loses a hundred games and another is almost in the playoffs.

Tim Mclelland, the home plate umpire, is not making any friends in this game. Lots of close calls are being called balls, very slow with his punchout calls...making all the right calls though, just slowly. Him, Orsillo, and Simpson must hang out all the time...and knit.

Nice headfirst slide by Yorvit Torrealba to first...the double whammy, called out and eats about an lb. of dirt on his way there.

Seth Smith just tripled off Peavy in his 8th major league at-bat. Peavy needs to be yanked. He's just not good in big games. Smith scores on a Kaz (Met Great) Matsui sac fly. By the way, he looks just like Tripp Williams. 6-5 Rocks.
Wow, Brady Clark just flat out whiffed on a fly ball to center...he just completly misjudged it. Tulowitzki gets a triple out of it. Oh man, every replay I cringe because it looks like its going to hit him in the face. Holliday Ks out to end the Tulo scoring threat, but I still think Peavy's gotta be yanked. The Fathers have a great 'pen, and this is the time to let it all hang out. Bud Black's gotta take him out.

Dane Cook is not getting me excited for October baseball.

LaTroy Hawkins is in the game. Nice. I really like him. Great windup and delivery. Reminds me of Keith Foulke. Except he throws harder. And he's black. By the way, the Rockies have 23 pitchers on their roster for the game. Hurdle has plenty of options since this is technically a regular season game.

Wow, talk about homers...Tulo had a blatant error that the Coors scorekeeper called a hit. That's bullshit.

Just read an article by Buster Olney, he says that MVP votes are entered at the conclusion of the regular season and not the morning of Oct. 1st. Hey Rockies fans, shut the fuck up with the MVP chants. http://proxy.espn.go.com/chat/chatESPN?event_id=17467.

Don Orsillo is white?! I thought he was at least Mexican, maybe Puerto Rican at worst. Disappointing.

Peavy is back out there for the 7th. I'd be surprised if he makes it out of this inning. And as a finish typing that sentence, Ugly Garrett Atkins doubles one off the top of the wall. Could be a dinger, replays look like it might have been off the yellow.

Adios Jake, after an intentional walk Heath Bell is coming in. Hey, there's an ex-Met in the playoffs! There you go, Flushing, satisfied?

Heath Bell's ass is unbelievable. He's like a white version of J.Lo, with a dick. He does nice work by the way, K'ing the next two Rocks.

Matt Holliday just misplayed a fly ball from Brian Giles and the Padres tied it up 6-6. Where are your MVP chants now, Coors Field? We head to the bottom of the 8th tied up.

Heath Bell ends the 8th K'ing Holliday, we head to the last inning all tied up.

Tulo just made a hell of a play, easily throwing out Adrian Gonzalez on a ball in the hole...cannon on that kid. If Manny Corpas does his job, I'm feeling a Rockies walk-off in the bottom half. Bring Iverson to Philly!

Todd Helton leads off the bottom of the 9th...he's got the gift of beard. Heath Bell is working another inning here, time for the Rocks to take advantage, and make me look smart. Well, Helton whiffs...maybe Bell gets stronger the longer he stays in the game. Feeble Jamey Carroll is up, my prognostication skills are diminishing as the inning progresses. He pops out. Gimme that walk-off Brad Hawpe. By the way, someone has a midget ass dog sitting on their lap in the front row of Coors...get serious.

Hawpe works a walk. Let's see who the pinch hitter will be...Joe Koshansky...big-bopper in the minors, would take over at 1st if Helton leaves...be a hero Joe, I miss Allen and his momma...Nope, Heath Bell is making Mets fans feel even worse with a dominate performance.

Matt Herges is in for the Rockies. I didn't know he was still playing. With two outs, he walks Terrmel Sledge, the whitest black guy with the blackest name ever. If that makes any sense. Two aboard now for the Fathers, as Holliday was playing left in the stands, and let a ball bounce in front of him. Herges escapes the inning, and I'm still feeling a Rockies walk-off.

Bell is out and Doug Brocail is in. He doesn't have any interesting body features, so let's hope he gives up the walk-off. Kaz Matsui is up...honestly, I don't want him to hit a walk-off, simply because I have to many Mets fans friends, and I'm sure that some of them would be suicidal if he does come through. Phew, he pops out, so I a couple friends still living. We head to the 11th.

Cal Ripken Jr. is doing some analysis for TBS. I gotta be honest, he flat out sucks. No enthusiasm, no inflection in his voice. He must be needing a new car or something, maybe Billy has a gambling problem.

Jamey Carroll bobbles a ball and Hairston is on. OK, odd play, Kouzmanoff sacs him to second. That...sets up an intentional walk for Adrian Gonzalez and sets up a double play for Kahlil Greene, who must be praying to Baha'u'llah that he doesn't hit a ground ball. I'm not sure how strong this Baha'i Faith religion is, cause he just grounded into an inning ending double play.

Jamie Moyer is probably fast asleep right now, after enjoying some cookies and milk around 8pm. Me, I'm not old, and I don't have a real job, so I'll be around all night.

Hell of a play by Brocail to throw out Tulo on a dribbler towards the 3rd base side of the mound. He may have slipped and hurt himself on the play. He's throwing off the mound, and says he is good to go. Maybe that will affect his performance, which has been good so far. He K's up Holliday, so Brocail seems ok. The former Tennessee Vol, Todd Helton is up. He walks, and Jamey Carroll singles, so the Rocks have a runner in scoring position. Brocail's night is done, as Joe Thatcher heads into the game. Let's see if Hawpe can come through in this lefty on lefty matchup. Nope, he K's. We head to the 12th.

Herges walks Morgan Ensberg to lead off the 12th. I'm still feeling a walk-off by the Rockies, but this game is starting to feel like one of those games that could last forever. After a sac, Brian Myrow is up for the Pads. I like his chances, he's got that quirky white guy thing going for him. Nope, the Rockies are hating this post right now and Herges K's him on a good change. Herges get Barrett to ground out, we head to commercial and the bottom half of the inning.

This has turned into a real nice duel between the pens, as Thatcher sets them down in order. I just want to beat it and go to sleep now. Let's see how the 13th goes.

Jorge Julio is in. I'm not sure how I feel about hispanic double first names. I hate English ones (James Conrad, for example), but it sounds better of the tongue when the names are hispanic.

Julio Jorge is looking like he could blow this game, a walk and pitches all around the dish. Well, we get a chance to see Trevor Hoffman, cause Scott Hairston just lined out a two run dinger. Just saw Wally Joyner in the Fathers dugout. Good to see Wally. Another lined single against Julio Jorge. And he is out of the game, not a solid outing, kinda reminded me of me against Rutgers. Ramon Ortiz is in to staunch the bleeding.

He gets out of it, but the Rockies have to face Hoffman to keep their season going. He is not a noted big game pitcher, so let's see if there are any dramatic comebacks in store.

Trevor is not getting the close calls early, and he's only pumping 84, so the Rocks have a shot.

Yup, Matsui crushes a double, and there's a runner at 2nd.

Tulo has an RBI double. I feel smart.

And this game is tied, as Holliday makes Giles face meet the right-field wall and knocks in Tulo with a triple. So there is a runner at 3rd, no outs, and they're walking Helton to set up...I dunno what, something.

Feeble Jamey Carroll knocks in Holliday with a sac fly. Holliday may be knocked out. Great game, great finish. Replays are showing Holliday never touched the dish. I wonder what the fall-out will be about that.

And with that, I sign off. Hope you guys enjoyed.