Stag Day

Yesterday was Stag Day at my county club and it was a fucking great event. Breakfast, golf, lunch, golf, dinner, poker with boozin and gamblin throughout the entire day and no females allowed on the course at all. Back in the day they used to have strippers as a night cap but some gay member went home and told his wife one day and that was the end of that. In my opinion he should have gotten a letter for being a dick with the next member to snitch getting kicked out and the strippers should have continued, but apparently the club isn't that cool. Of course if it was my club I'd also arrange for hot sluts to be givin blowjobs at the turn but that is neither here nor there. I'm going to skip ahead to the poker to get to the point of this post.

Eight guys tro in 200 a piece to play some no limit. It's like one of five tables goin on not including the dice games and other shit on the side. 1000 in chips with 25, 50 blinds, increasing every twenty minutes and guys are asking questions like 'do i turn the card over now' and 'how many more cards come?' The problem with this is you pretty much have to have the dead nuts at all times cuz someone is always goin to call you all the way down and catch that fuckin deuce on the river to bust your ass. One guy at the table was so drunk he was falling asleep in between hands and would call or raise or fold without even looking at his hand. This was actually working for him for a while.

So I'm in first position with my stack at 200 and the blinds at 100, 200 cuz I haven't caught shit. Four players remain and only top two get paid. I fold cause I have 6,2 and I am basically gone next hand. One of the dudes left is a 60 year old who has been a cock all night and wouldn't suprise me if it came out one day that he was having sex with a 13 year old boy. He has previously passed a resolution banning smoking in the clubhouse and one dude lights up a cig and starts blowin it in his face at the table during this hand.

First guy bets, second guy raises, third guy raises and all call. Flop comes K,2,K. Bet, reraise, reraise, reraise, call, all in, call, call. This occurred in a slow, sloppy manner with everyone pretty much having no clue and at one point deciding fuck it I just want to bust out this fag. The turn and river come J and 4 and everyone flips over their cards. 1st guy has J 3. 2nd 10 4 and 3rd Q 9. The winner was already the leader and takes out the other two leaving me in second with enough money to cover the xbox 360 I copped this week on the credit card.

I mean, what?

No way I'd even trade this hand for a blowjob at the turn.